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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Butterflies has butterflies....

Ohhhh dang...I am writing this post with a heart filled with butterflies. (I know super cheesy :D )

Well, I guess I should explain...

I met "Brandon" at a debate competition 2 years ago. I will admit...I hated him!! He had a speech that had half a dozen cheesy jokes in it, and those jokes were like nails on my mental chalkboard. I ended up watching his performance at least 5 times over a few tournaments, because we were in the same event. It was murder!! I wondered how many times I could watch his (admittedly good) cheesy piece, before my mind melted like his presence last night melted my heart. In the end, we parted that year without ever really speaking, or every really contacting each other.

The debate/speech year ended, and like the seasons it eventually began again. Throughout the next season we rarely saw each other, and again...we never spoke.

Honestly, upon reflection it wouldn't have had any real impact if we had spoken, we were both closeted. Even though that may be true...I wish I had.

Brandon, what can I say about him...? Well...I can promise (Though you may doubt it from my sentimental writing) that I am not in love, but majorly in like :). Ummm, I should now probably explain how we actually met.

Ohhh the joys of Facebook....(SAD, I KNOW!!!) But that is the truth. I have had him added as a friend for about 6 months, (Debaters add each other, that is just how it works) but again, we had never talked. Due to some amazing snooping skills, and an epic "gay-dar." I found a good friend of his. And asked if the two of them, friend+Brandon=an item. He was a little annoyed (I think his friend is SUPER closeted) but he let me know that "Brandon" is gay. That was an interesting little detail that I viewed as useless. The reason why is that; in my understanding "Brandon" lived 2 hours away. Long distance relationships are...to say the least, counterproductive. After chatting with him for two hours he said "but yeah, I am wondering (and I only ask because you're like, my only 'source' lol. I hope you don't think I' using you or anything. That's not really in my nature) if you might in the future aid me in my quest for satisfaction, i.e. someone who fulfills me i.e. a boyfriend?" I wasn't exactly sure if he meant help him look for a boyfriend, or be his boyfriend, but since I thought he lived 2 hours away, I said "I would like that, but I really am not one for long distance relationships" and than he said "I'm not really a long-distance person either" And so it was over in my mind, but I thought we could chat, and talk so I was fine.

You may be seeing the clouds, but shortly after the sunshine came through. After a while he asked about whether or not I knew of any guys near a local High school (Keep in mind I spent the summer at college, and hadn't changed my "Current city" yet.) and I asked him "Why would you be looking near -----, you live 2 hours away!!" than he said "Wait, you don't know that I moved, do you!!" and than everything really fell into place :D.

So, last night I invited him over to watch a movie, and eat some pasta.
*BACKGROUND*
"Brandon" has some crazy parents and are very controlling. They know he is gay, they just are crazy about it. He was on lock-down for a month and a half following them reading his journal and finding out his secret. So, them knowing he was going on a date, that wasn't hetro. would have gotten him eaten...
*BACKGROUND OVER*

So, because of the "Background" I assumed that even under the cover of my friend inviting him, and it being seen at her house, that they would say no...But, they didn't!!! I was very, very excited...(Obviously)

So, me and my friend went and picked him up, to continue the ruse. After he got into the car, we headed back to her house to watch "Fired Up" (A very funny movie)
*BACKGROUND*
He has never been able to date, there were never any guys. So...My limited experience seems rather vast to him...(Agrrrggggg, he is so adorable)
*BACKGROUND OVER*

So, knowing that he had never even held a hand, or anything over that I was super nervous that I would seem too forward, and I really didn't want to make him uncomfortable. So, when I sat down, I was pleasantly surprised that he sat down next to me. So, because I am such a huge girl, I didn't want to make the first move, aka hold his hand. But, since I knew he was so nervous...I really did know that he was, I remembered being there before...

And so, I started it. I know how much someone else wanting to hold your hand means. I was well received :). And so, by the end of the night we had spent most of the movie cuddling, and holding hands, and my friend (Like a good friend would so) left periodically so that we could get slightly more intimate if so desired. As much as I wanted to kiss him, I was just so content to hold him, and have him hold me that I really didn't try too hard.

You know when you get that feeling that what you are doing is just great, and that the world is just melting away??

I had that feeling...And I didn't want to change it at all.

So, than the movie was over. After that we watched a few episodes of "That 70's Show." I held him and felt his heart beat.

For those who love the sound, and the feel of heartbeats, you know how telling they can be.
As I held him I felt his heart beat faster every time I caressed his face. and every time I played with his hair. And than when I would just hold him, his heart beat would slow down, and it made me smile allot.

I have a high paced personality, so needless to say, I kept his heart beating fast, and he (Unknowingly) did the same to me.

The last detail I will leave you with was the final verdict, embodied is dialog.

Just before we left, I whispered in his ear "Just wanted to let you know, I kinda like you..."
(Than I grinned. :D)
Than he whispered in my ear "I think I like you too"
(Than he grinned really adorably :D)
Thanks for reading!

5 comments:

  1. Scmetterling, I am delighted for you- you sound very happy!

    Love, always!

    Happy day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Whoops- I should learn to spell: Schmetterling. :)

    Love you!

    Hope you had a safe trip to Salt Lake?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy day for you both.

    BTW, I don't know which route you take to SLC, but feel free to stop by if you pass through Logan.

    Also, if you're debaters, you ought to consider USU, home of the 2010 Nat'l debate champs. (http://www.usu.edu/ust/index.cfm?article=44354) Just sayin' ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yea...No...I want to attend the university of Canterbury in New Zealand...USU is just...not far enough away. But thanks GMB, and I'll be sure to stop by next time I ma in logan (I used to live in roy, so I know the area)

    ReplyDelete

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