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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My Playlist


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Here is my playlist, I hope you enjoy :)

-Why we gays are so stereotypical part 2-

This is my humble attempt to figure these mysterious stereotypes out
Why we are typically stylish:

In my opinion this is extremely easy to define. In the period of our lives where we are closeted we feel suppressed. We are not able to express ourselves in the ways we would like, and our self esteem is typically low. When we look inside and see something we don't like, I believe that we attempt to overcompensate through dress.

People notice when you look really good, and hearing that praise that may come from wearing coordinated clothes is like crack-cocaine to the compliment starved. When you are closeted you cannot really do much to draw attention, some gays (not many lesbians in this example) will join things like the cheer-leading squad...all the while not realizing that they effectively outed themselves by even considering such an obvious incursion into "chick" territory. Many closeted individuals are scared enough that they would never consider such an "out-able" method for acceptance, and will do the safer thing and just dress above average.

In a way, this stereotype, and a few others, only occur because they are stereotypes. I know that probably sounds confusing, so please allow me to explain before you reach for the Excedrin. Even closeted gays know that gays typically dress well, if a bit flamboyantly, so they feel safe and feel like they are embracing the part of themselves that they want to hide by dressing well, but not to flamboyantly. In essence, if they cannot be a flamingo, they will at least wear pink.

In a shortened sense, gays dress well (and I guess lesbians dress horrifically...JK) because they have low self esteem in the closeted period(typically up until late HS), which carries over into adulthood, they want to express themselves in a safe way, and because they want to embrace their gay identity.

The next installment will be on why gays stereotypically love to cook( I will also do a few from the lesbian perspective later on in the "series" (haha, how am I so dorky??)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

-Why we gays are so stereotypical part 1-

I have been thinking about this topic for a while, and I think I can explain why most gays have so many likes and dislikes in common. I am obviously not the first person to realize that we all have allot in common, and probably not even the first to try to understand why. Here is my humble attempt to explain why so many gays have so many stereotypes in common. To start off, first we have to look at the stereotypes themselves. Here are the first that I will go through:

1. An appreciation of theater

First is an appreciation of theater. The root of this “trait” that runs rampant through the homosexual population is rather complex, in my opinion. Most gays go through a closeted period, where they know that they are gay, but are ashamed of it due to societal and religious dogma. It is this period where the person has to pretend. They must pretend to “like” the opposite gender, they must pretend to not “like” the same gender, they must pretend to have relationships, they have to pretend like chick flicks are lame *Shudder*, and must essentially play the part of normal guy/girl. This is what theater is all about; playing the part of someone you are not, to please the crowd. In this period of self-loathing, and hiding, the person in question feels smothered and feels like who they are is being suppressed. When you hate who you are, being someone else, and being applauded for it, really is great. In addition we love the way it makes us feel.

When you are on stage, you are the center of attention (something that most closeted gays rarely get, due to the fact that being “normal” is far from exciting) it makes a monumental difference. When we finally have an outlet for being, or even have the opportunity to watch someone else be loud, proud, and most importantly themselves, it really strikes a chord. How can we not feel, and be touched by the ideals that theater pushes out so thoroughly??? Drama teachers and acting coaches always have stressed that you should be your character, but never lose yourself. How can we not be touched when we hear the message “Be yourself!!” over and over again? How can we not feel empowered and special when we see an actor/actress on a stage singing their heart out about being true to themselves? In my case, how could I not feel like taking on the world when listening to “Defying Gravity”??

In simple terms, and in summary, we love theater because theater is the exhibition of oneself. After oppressing yourself, nothing could be sweeter.

The next installment will be why I think gays are stereotypically stylish. (At the moment I have a list of 4 more that I will take on, if you have one that you want me to write about, let me know.

-BHG

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My Favorite Song

It is so cliche, but my favorite song ever is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." My favorite version of the song is by child star "Aselin Debison." Her voice is amazing, and it is truly a treat to listen to. Here is one of the youtube examples of her singing this song.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

My Stance


I realize, looking back over my past posts, I really have only made a few of my belief's clear. I have bashed
religion and ignorance, encouraged individuality in both of the linked posts. I have also spouted ridiculously cheesy B.F. stories. In addition I have had quite a few problems with "Andys", and more "Andys." (Maybe it is because I had my Pokemon cards stolen by an Andy in 2nd grade...Who knows??)
I have done these things, but I haven't really shown where I stand in allot of issues. So, without further a-due, "My Stance"

Indoctrination: One of the greatest evil's of our time. It seems so strange to me that Christianity claims that the entity that embodies evil, aka "The Devil/Satan/Lucifer/Glen Beck" tried to take away free will, and force us to choose "The Right." (See, told you Satan was a republican extremist!!) Yet, these religions do something almost completely similar! I admit, there is no 100% loss of choice, but if you have been indoctrinated from birth to believe something without much doubt, and are in a community setting like those seen in Utah, or Idaho there is almost nothing you wouldn't do to avoid that shame, and public loss of status. (Contend if you will, but I KNOW, just as many of you KNOW that your religion is correct, that religion should be for 18+ and that morals are the thing that should be fostered before that.)
Mark Twain: "Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned Faith is believing in that which I know ain't so." Because I love the Quote, I will forgive the use of "ain't."

The Mormon Church: Wow, major mixed feelings...On one hand I love it like a family because of the wonderful things it has done for my family, and in some ways for me. It has given me a good set of morals(...that I...might...just toss away for any passing man with facial hair... :D ), given me some AMAZING friends, fostered a belief that hope has power, and helped me find out who I am and what things are worth fighting for. On the opposite hand, the stifling expectations, religious ultimatums, homophobia, racism, and most unpardonable Ignorance lead me (And obviously many, many others) to periods of depression, self loathing, suicide attempts, and bitterness towards all that the church stands for. I will say that the Mormon church has done much more good than bad, but I refuse to forgive and forget, because you can never truly forgive, the original offence will ALWAYS play a part in how you interact with said offender, and to forget is to return to ignorance concerning a person, which is impossible, and idealistic at best.
David O. McKay “Although, I do not care much for a negro, still I have a warm spot in my heart for those beautiful singers.” Try switching "Negro" for "Homo" and picture Kurt on Glee...Funny how that works...

Homosexuality: This has really changed over the years...I can honestly say that at this moment (And hopefully until I die) I love it, I would not change it, and that it is one of the greatest sources of happiness in my life. In is NOT unnatural, it is NOT wrong, it is NOT a sin, it is NOT a perversion, and it is NOT a choice. Here is a link proving the first which has a list of nearly 200 species of mammals where homosexuality is prevalent. There is no 100% positive evidence for proving whether it is wrong or right, because morals are dependent upon each individual. Here is some evidence supporting that it is good for people, and leads to happier lives at least in the case of gay marriage, and civil unions. It is not a sin, I firmly believe this, because in all honesty I don't believe in the concept of sin. There is good, there is bad, there is not in my mind a mental compartment where those bad things are tallied and considered sin. In remote villages in Africa, cannibalism is encouraged and not considered a "sin" by those who commit it, yet people who have never tried it, or have any divine proof in it's evil see themselves fit to deem it sin. In addition, though it may sound cliche, love is not a sin, no matter the form in regards to sexuality. It is not a perversion. Perversion is defined by Webster as: "a concept describing those types of human behavior that are a serious deviation from what is considered to be orthodox or normal." Is it really a deviation from normalcy to look for happiness? If used is a strict sense in opposition to homosexuality, this would be used to back a statement like "If it wasn't a major deviation from normalcy than more people would do this, so it must be a perversion!!!" In rebuttal, "human behavior" is ill defined, COMPLETELY theoretical, and contradictory. It is "normal" to be catholic in the Vatican, therefore it is a perversion to be Mormon there, in a society of people with brown eyes in 90% of people, blue and green eyes are a perversion, it is "normal" to be black in Africa, therefore white is the true perversion there, it is "normal" in San Fransisco to be gay, therefore heterosexuality is the perversion there. You may have noticed that I used examples of things determined at birth, I.E. skin color, eye color, and sexual orientation I used these, because in the case of the definition, historically those things were, and in the case of sexuality still are, perceived as a choice in many religious groups. If it was a choice, why would anyone choose it?? Why would anyone choose to be hated, feared, disrespected, abandoned by friends and family, rejected by society, humiliated, hurt, and be subjected to hate crimes?? The answer, they wouldn't...
The National Mental Health Association has said, and stands by the statement that "Most researchers believe sexual orientation is complex, and that biology plays an important role. This means that many people are born with their sexual orientation, or that it's established at an early age"

Gay marriage: In essence I believe that it is a matter of equality. Opponents of it say that it will "Destroy the family" or that somehow, when the definition changes, so will the significance. This is so ridiculous it hurts. This is religion saying that they are being persecuted for standing by their faiths...the strange thing about that is that the "standing" is usually on the backs of minorities.
It is a matter of equality, everyone deserves the love, and the responsibility that comes with the sealing of vows. After all the Hallmark indoctrinated wedding fervor, and the numberless chick flicks we all love to watch so very, very much...how can we settle? I don't know about you, but my happy ending does include a beautiful white wedding, and I will fight for that. I firmly believe that the true reason that most religious groups that are against gay marriage are in the position, because they do not want gay's to be legitimized, thus rendering them bigots for their beliefs, and their stance on the issue in the public eye. This is a reasonable fear, because they WILL be seen as bigots, "it" is coming, and in that I rejoice.

(They are sooooo cute :D )
Pursuing a Homosexual life: Do it, you will have your fair share of regrets, but you will have more joy than I believe you could through any other medium. Deep down, I really believe that we all just want to be held, and to hold, and we deserve the security, the happiness, and the love that will truly complete us. Never give up when you get knocked down. One of the main reasons I got mad at the first (and probably the same "Andy" who's comments I deleted on the fireside post) "Andy" was because he had a bad experience, and decided to base his life around it. It is just as likely to happen in a heterosexual relationship, and giving up just shows how weak of a person you are. Anyone reading, who has opposing views, or feels like I have "wronged" them...Too bad... Like I have said before, don't sacrifice your life for an eternity defined by those with a limited understanding. And have a really great day.
-BHG

Me, and my friend Moving Horizons!

So, a new, and unique experience occurred on Thursday.
In accordance with serendipity, me and blogger Moving Horizons we actually able to meet in SLC! I was in town for a concert (Though I really don't even like the band...) and he was there for work, and a visit to family explained in his coming out post's. It was sort of scary, really fun, and many other things...but the biggest thing it was, was relaxing. There was very little stress, even when his

EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE (!!!)

temporary roommate started an argument that defied monotonous.
Here are some events:

We meet up at pioneer park, which was PACKED with people who were attending the concert, I ditched the friends who I had came with, went to MH's temporary appartment, argued with his roommate for 45 min.+, went to the M. Mall, ate yummy food, talked some (Not as much as I would have liked to) and the night ended...

Sorry that is so...abrupt/stop-n'-go but I am rather tired :P
Have a good night, dear blogging world...

Love ya' like a sister (Hahaha) MH

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

New Profile Picture...


I liked the old one, but I made this one...And I like it better :D It is bigger in this form, so you can actually see it! I really love Black and white, I am not "Emo" or anything...+ that label is really lame...

Friday, July 2, 2010

Friends, and reactions to coming out.

Ohhh goodness, I am going to need allot of fake names! I have, in the last couple of weeks, gone on a coming out spree, to close friends, and distant family. Here are some reactions...edited

1. Cousin: "Haha...too funny!! Ohhhh wait, you are serious???" "I have a gay cousin???? AWESOME!!!" And then we rocked out to Ke$ha...I love dancing, and I laughed super hard!!!
2. Friend T---y: "lol, really??? Ummm...lol, I guess I can tell you now, I liked you for a while! This makes things...odd" Me and T---y are now Amazing friends, and what was a fun, and meaningless friendship is now one of the greatest that I have.
3. Friend S--A: "OMG YAAAAAAAYYYYY" "I have a gay friend now!!!" Hahaha, loved that! She was so cool about it that we have became even better friends than we were before.
4. Friend N--a: (She has been my best friend for 5 years...I cannot believe I didn't tell her) "Wow...why didn't you tell me earlier, I love you so much that it would have never changed anything." (I who almost never cries...Balled my eyes out...I was so relieved.) She than proceed ed to show me all the gay guys she knows (712 FB friends) to figure out my kind of guy. (Aka Stubble to facial hair 1/4 of an inch long max, tanish, smart looking, 6'1 perfect teeth...I know...Not many have them all...I will find him...don't you worry.)
5. Friend J--y: "That's why you dress so well!!!" Haha I love her to pieces!
6. Friend B-----r: (Only guy on the list) "Lol so what??" His non-caring attitude made me so happy, you wouldn't believe what indifference to my "dirty little secret" feels like!
7. Friend M-----y: "BHG (substitute for first name) DARLING, I am so happy for you!! And this explains your amazing hair." (I promise that I am not trying to build myself up, this is almost verbatim what they all have said)
8: Grandmother: (ROAR!!! I accidentally left my email up, and she read my college paper about sociatial pressures towards conformity, which included heavy amounts of personal stories, and my coming out story....) "I don't give a damn BHG!!! I love you, and want you to find the peace, and happiness you deserve."I forgave her instantly, she defied social norms to the extreme. She is a neo-conservative active Mormon housewife of 75 years...I was shocked. I love you grandma (Not that she reads my blog)
Thanks for reading!
-BHG

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